This morning I was speaking with a young woman who has been facing a series of illness that sometimes knock the stuffings out of her and prevent her from having the ‘normal’ life she expected. She is not able to go to college, work full time or drive. She just began working part-time for the first time in her life in a field that feeds her soul as well as her wallet. I applauded her on her up and at ’em attitude and resilient spirit that sustains her. She inspires me. In our conversation, she said something that I had never heard before, but it will become my new gratitude mantra. She was referring to the ways in which she focuses up instead of down as often as she can and trusts the messages that life offers, special delivery. She claims not to be particularly spiritual, but I’m kinda doubting it. The words that came out of her mouth were, “I asked for a sign and you gave me a billboard.” Wowzers!
When we are willing to pay attention to the signs around us, whether via a person, a part of nature such as animals who cross our paths, or a penny on the ground when we ask for it, they dance in front of us. Sometimes the seem minuscule, sometimes larger than life.
Dreams are often the medium by which I receive messages and signs. Last night’s mental movie was a whopper of a billboard. It began when I was doing some healing/ search and rescue work for a woman. I was in or near an ocean and it switched to a canyon and mountain-scape that I was scaling. At the top was a temple type room in which the Dalai Lama was speaking. His back was to the door but I recognized the cadence and sound of his voice since I had interviewed him in 2008. I couldn’t seem to make it into the room, try though I might. Disappointed and frustrated, I flung myself out into the air and my body half landed on a flat red rock, with my legs dangling into empty space. I called out for help and I don’t recall how, but someone or something lifted me on to the surface and I was safe. I woke up, relieved to be in my comfy bed.
I know that dreams are a reflection of what is occurring in our waking hours that spill over into sleep. The other component is that each aspect of the dream is part of the dreamer and may be unique to the individual. I doubt that there is a standard dream book that references the Dalai Lama as a dream symbol. I use them to decipher what I am facing. This one was a no-brainer since I view His Holiness as teacher and guide, as well as a representative of compassion and spirituality and our conversation, a milestone event in my existence and professional career. In the dream, he was unattainable and didn’t even acknowledge my presence. I had planned on reminding him of our meeting in Philly in 2008, but chances are, he has met so many journalists that I might be a blur in his memory. Lately, I have been feeling that my sense of self-compassion has been flagging and needs a decided boost. When I cast myself out into the ethers, I was taking a risk as well as trusting that I would land safely. Initially, there was a major miscalculation that could have cost me life or limb, but as is always the case for me, I was held, carried and deposited where I most needed to be. I have learned to trust in the Highest Good outcome and in all of my 60 some years, it has never failed, despite painful and challenging experiences. From that lofty perspective, I could have an overview of the landscape. Definitely what I need, since there are some times when I don’t see the bigger picture, even though I encourage that for my clients, students, family, and friends. I often let myself be the exception to all of the ‘rules’ I create, especially those that relate to good self-care and sustenance. I wonder what I believe is unattainable for myself and how I may turn my back on my own needs and desires. Where I am cavalierly hurling myself into space, uncertain of where I will land? At what point do I need to simply trust that I will be taken care of? Am I willing to switch roles since I am most often ‘the rock’ on which others lean and depend?
I am grateful for all the signs and billboards in my life, regardless of the messages inscribed on them. What would you write on yours?
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